"When Our Heart is in a Holy Place" as sacred text for sermon by Rev. Jane Page
I chose this song for this series because I like the melody, I
like the lyrics, - it’s a sweet song.
But using this as my sacred text made me think a little more deeply
about it. And I asked myself – what is
this Holy Place that Joyce Poley is referring to? And why do we need to have our hearts there
to experience this love and amazing grace that she lifts up in her song? So I read the lyrics again – and I want to
read them again for you as well. I just
read the three verses then share the chorus at the very end.
And I realized that we are in that Holy Place when we embrace
our common humanity and are truly able to empathize with others.
In his first inaugural speech, President
Barack Obama said: “We cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall
someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world
grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself...”
But here we
are now – so divided in this world and nation.
Yes, our traveling and trade did make the world grow smaller – but it
seems - instead of sharing love and
empathy with one another, we’ve just shared deadly viruses. Are we just hard-wired to be selfish,
competitive, and greedy?
In
addition to celebrating LOVE in February, we lift up EVOLUTION! Darwin’s birthday is February 12 – same day
and year as Lincoln’s. And many
congregations that embrace SCIENCE celebrate the Sunday before or after his
birthday as Evolution Sunday. So, that
makes it even more appropriate for me to share a little about evolution today.
It
is quite easy for us to see how we evolved selfishness – the whole “survival of
the fittest” idea. But scientists are
continuing to study the evolution of cooperation and empathy – and more about
how or why that happened.
Take
for example – the wolf. A lone wolf can
only kill small animals. And the
stronger and faster will get to that small animal first – and therefore that
wolve’s genes will be more likely to survive evolution. However, if the wolf cooperates with others
in a pack of wolves, they can kill big animals and the pack will thrive and
therefore pass on those genes of cooperation.
So,
especially with the evolution of mammals and the need to nurture the offspring
via milk and care, those parents who were capable of doing this had offspring
who survived, etc. Yeah for us!
Now
the study of evolution shows us that when organisms evolve, they often keep
remnants of their ancient selves. Sometimes they have these attributes even
after they no longer use them. And
sometimes, they still do need to use them. . Therefore, we refer to our
“Reptilian Brain,” which can help or hurt us depending on the situation.
Now,There
are lots of studies that show that empathy is not just a human trait – but
certainly prevalent in other primates and more.
But humanity has certainly evolved these more cooperative
traits.
So
– the bottom line is – it is human nature to be selfish; AND it is human nature
to be empathetic.
Now,
just as those wolves evolved to hunt in packs, humans also find power in
crowds. In his Saturday Evening Post
article “Can Our Common Humanity Unite Us,” Nicholas Christakis writes:
For good
or ill, forming crowds comes so naturally to our species that it is even seen
as a fundamental political right. It is codified in the First Amendment to the
U.S. Constitution, which notes that “the right of the people peaceably to
assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances” shall not
be infringed by law. The inclination to assemble into groups and deliberately
choose friends and associates is part of our species’ universal heritage.
And -
Another human trait that we have is that we can be influenced by crowds. We just need enough of us to display love for
all humanity and empathy for this to spread.
If enough of us have this – then we can infect others and lovingkindness
will spread – like a virus, but a good one.
In that
video I shared with you during our story time, Brene Brown shares the
attributes of empathy that we need to nourish and emulate for this to
happen. I was fortunate to have more
detailed training which used her videos while at a ministers’ retreat at the
Mountain. So – I have been to the Mountain Top on this subject and hopefully
have been able to take these lessons to heart.
In I Thought it Was Just Me (But It
Isn't) (2008), Brown references nursing scholar Theresa Wiseman's four
attributes of empathy:
- Perspective taking – that is to
be able to see the world as others see it—This requires putting your own
"stuff" aside to see the situation through another’s eyes.
Sometimes that’s easier to do when reading a book or seeing a movie. Why is that?
- To be nonjudgmental—Judgement
of another person's situation discounts the experience and is an attempt
to protect ourselves from the pain of the situation. This IS how it is for
them. I know I’ve had an especially
hard time of this with some folks.
- To understand the other
person’s feelings. To do this, it
helps to be in touch with our own feelings. You have to identify something
in your own life where you have felt similarly. Now that doesn’t mean you share that
with the other person. It just
reminds you of how it feels to be rejected or lonely or like a failure,
etc. To quote Joyce Poley’s song:
“We see our face’s in each other’s eyes,” …”We hear our voices in
each other’s words,”… and “We feel the power of each other’s faith.”
- To communicate your
understanding of that person’s feeling. Rather than saying, "At least
you..." or "It could be worse..." try, "I've been
there, and that really hurts," Perhaps you haven’t been there – and
don’t say you have if you haven’t.
After I lost my son – I really appreciated all the caring
responses. But sometimes folks
would say something like – “I know how you feel. I recently lost my grandfather.” And I’m thinking – No, you don’t know
how this feels. (But I knew
their intention was good and they were trying to connect with my
feelings.) Even if you haven’t been
there, you can still share your understanding of their feeling. For
example: (to quote an example from
Brown), "It sounds like you are in a hard place now. Tell me
more about it.” Or – again to quote Brown – “I don’t know what to say, but
I’m glad you told me.”
Now like swimming or riding a bike – we may have evolved the
potential for doing some things, but perfecting them takes practice. “Brown explains
that empathy is a skill that strengthens with practice and encourages people to
both give and receive it often. By receiving empathy, not only do we understand
how good it feels to be heard and accepted, we also come to better understand
the strength and courage it takes to be vulnerable and share that need for
empathy in the first place.”(Kate Theida in Psychology Today.)
So to culminate this sermon time, we’re going to practice with a
Common Humanity Meditation that I found on the internet and modified.
In this Common Humanity Meditation
we’ll be practicing acknowledging the similarities between ourselves and others.
We often focus on differences, but realizing that even people who seem very
different from us in fundamental ways are just like us, can become the basis of
real connection.
This
can include people we don't know very well, people with whom we're in conflict,
or even people who we see as enemies. It's possible to develop a sense of
compassion and understanding by coming to feel our shared sense of experience
as human beings. This practice can help overcome that sense of difference and
distrust by opening channels of compassion.
1.
Let’s begin by taking a moment to allow your body to settle in a comfortable
position, inviting a sense of ease and relaxation throughout the body [5
seconds].
And
gently closing your eyes or looking downward just to limit visual distractions
[5 seconds].
2.
Allow yourself to take a deep breath in, and a long breath out. And as you
breathe out, allowing a sense of releasing any tension that you're holding in
your body [5 seconds].
3.
Now bring someone to mind in your community who you don’t know very well, maybe
someone who seems very distant or different from you, even someone you’re in a
minor conflict with. And as you bring to mind this person you may not like
or know very well, just notice if you experience any shift in sensation in
your body [10 seconds].
Now
- Hold this person in mind as if they were right in front of you.
5.
And say to yourself, “This person has a body and a mind, just like me”
[10 seconds].
“This
person has feelings, emotions, and thoughts, just like me” [10 seconds].
“This
person has at some point in their life been sad, angry, hurt, or confused, just
like me” [15 seconds].
“This
person has in their life experienced physical and emotional pain and suffering,
just like me” [10 seconds].
“This
person has experienced moments of peace, joy, and happiness, just like me” [10
seconds].
“This
person wishes to have fulfilling relationships, just like me” [10
seconds].
“This
person wishes to be healthy and loved, just like me” [10 seconds].
6.
Now take a moment to sense how you’re feeling [5 seconds]. And as you hold this
person in your awareness, just notice: What do you experience? [10 seconds].
7.
Now as you hold this person in mind, send them good wishes. May they be well
[5 seconds], may they be happy [5 seconds], may they be healthy
[5 seconds], may they live with ease [10 seconds].
8.
Now shifting your awareness back to your breath, breathing in [5 seconds],
breathing out [5 seconds]. Reconnecting with your body, feeling present,
alive, connected, right here, right now.
And
now open your eyes. And I share with you
a Namaste – The Spirit in me honors the Spirit in you.
(sing)
– “We are blessed with love and amazing grace, when our heart is in a holy
place.”
May
it be so!
