Why Marriage Matters

On August 18, 2007,  Greg and I were married here in this church.  Many of you were here and joined with us in that wonderful celebration of love.  Now after my first marriage of almost 30 years, I had said that I would never marry again.  Actually – I wasn’t very high on that institution.  And back in 2002 after Greg moved in with me, I shared a sermon with this congregation entitled, “Marry, marry,….quite contrary,” with lots of reasons for not getting married, including the fact that many of my gay and lesbian friends did not have that opportunity.  And in fact, I had told many of them that I would not consider marriage until they could marry also.

But, Greg Brock is a very persuasive man.  And after five years of non-marital bliss, I finally did say YES and borrowed the dress.  We got married – because we loved each other and wanted to commit ourselves in this way; and we got married – because we could.

It’s a privilege that we, as a mixed gender couple had in Georgia.  My friend Joan Schneider had helped me rationalize this by saying that I had lots of privileges that other folks didn’t have that I took advantage of every day.  I was not giving all of them up – and instead was using those privileges in ways that hopefully were helpful to others.  So, with that nice rationalization and also the encouragement of my minister friend Nan White (who did not HAVE that same privilege with her partner) – we moved forward with our plans.  And I’m glad we did.  As our invitation stated, we had the desire to give our love its fullest expression – and for us, that was marriage.  And then, as a married woman and a Unitarian Universalist minister, I made an equally strong commitment to continue the work to make this privilege – this choice – one that all couples can make.  

(Here I am marching for Equality in Washington, DC with the LOVE sign as my hat. And Greg marched with me.)

 Now, of course, marriage is not the only thing we advocate for as LGBTQ people and allies.  But it’s part of “the Agenda!”   You know about “the agenda” of course.  If not, I’ll let Congressman Barney Frank give you a quick lesson. 

YouTube with Barney Frank outlining the “radical homosexualagenda.”

By the way, Barney Frank is retiring after this term in office and will be getting married soon in his home state of Massachusetts.

Now some may ask – Why would anyone want to get married in the first place?  What is marriage for?  Well, although some on the conservative right would have us to believe that the institution has remained unchanged through the ages, it just isn’t so.  The purpose of marriage and its structures have changed with changes in society. 

Most ancient societies needed a secure environment for the perpetuation of the species and a system of rules to handle the granting of property rights. The institution of marriage handled both of these needs.  But most would agree that ancient marriages were not for love.  Historian John Boswell makes this interesting comparison of pre-modern Europe love and marriage with today’s culture.

In premodern Europe marriage usually began as a property arrangement, was in the middle mostly about raising children, and ended about love.   Few couples in fact married "for love," but many grew to love each other in time as they jointly managed their household, reared their offspring, and shared life's experiences. Nearly all surviving epitaphs to spouses evince profound affection. By contrast, in most of the modern West, marriage begins about love, in its middle is still mostly about raising children (if there are children), and ends - often - about property, by which point love is absent or a distant memory.

Now at the same time that all of these religious and civil marriage ceremonies were taking place, we also have evidence of services designed to unite same-sex couples.  Here is Boswell’s book about that.

Through the ages, there have been lots of different forms and varieties of marriage – including polygamy– also now known as “big love.”

And there have been lots of laws and social mores about who could and could not marry.  Here are some maps that make interesting comparisons.  First – here’s the one showing in blue the states where same sex couples can marry. We can add Washington State thanks to events this week.  And if not for Governor Chris Christie’s veto, we could add New Jersey.   Maryland seems to be on the way as well.  But as you can see, we’ve got a long way to go.   

Now here’s a map showing where you can marry your first cousin. 

There also used to be state laws against marrying someone outside your own race.  Here’s a map showing when these laws were repealed.  Only the brown states NEVER had them.  There were 30 states that kept them on the books till the Civil Rights movement.  And these yellow states – didn’t take them off till the Supreme Court ruled in 1967 that they were unconstitutional in the case Loving vs. Virginia. That case is important to our discussion here because the same 14^th Amendment rights being violated by these laws can now be called into question as Proposition 8 makes its way to the Supreme Court. 

On June 12, 2007, the late Mildred Loving issued a rare public statement, which commented on same-sex marriage, prepared for delivery on the fortieth anniversary of the Loving v. Virginia decision of the US Supreme Court.  The concluding paragraphs of her statement included the following.

Surrounded as I am now by wonderful children and grandchildren, not a day goes by that I don't think of Richard and our love, our right to marry, and how much it meant to me to have that freedom to marry the person precious to me, even if others thought he was "the wrong kind of person" for me to marry.  

I am still not a political person, but I am proud that Richard's and my name is on a court case that can help reinforce the love, the commitment, the fairness, and the family that so many people, black or white, old or young, gay or straight seek in life.  I support the freedom to marry for all.  That's what Loving, and loving are all about.

Now because of the concepts and demeaning legalities that existed in the “traditional” institution of marriage, many feminists have shied away from what they considered a trap.  Even nineteenth century feminists like Elizabeth Cady Stanton had simply argued for women to consider opting out of marriage – acknowledging that marriage equality would not be possible in their lifetimes.  And Stanton placed part of the blame on the shoulders of women who were unwilling to acknowledge change was possible.  Here’s a quote from Stanton in 1894: 

Women are too proud to admit that they want what they think they cannot get.  They fear the ridicule of the men of their households, of the press, the disapproval of their clergymen who quote the Bible against larger liberties for their sex….   

The women’s movement continued, though, to move….slowly it seemed….but move it did.  And the institution of marriage itself changed.  So much so, that it became acceptable to even feminist icon Gloria Steinem, who married in 2000, and to Jane Page too. 

Now marriage is not viewed as a trap or cage – but rather as a safety net providing rights and protections for both parties.  Is what Greg and I have just a piece of paper certifying our marriage commitment?  No, it is more than that.  Ask any unmarried couple who has paid heaps of money to lawyers to write documents for just some of the same rights and protections. 

I had said I would never marry for benefits – and I did not.  But there are many benefits -- some estimate as many as 1400 specific legal benefits that Greg and I  have access to that couples who cannot marry do not have.  In addition, private employers and institutions often give other economic privileges and other benefits (special rates or memberships for example) only to married couples.

Evan Wolfson is the founder of Freedom to Marry and perhaps the nation’s leading advocate for marriage equality and the author of Why Marriage Matters.  Wolfson provides a long summary of benefits in his book – too long for this little homily.  But I will share the broad categories he uses.  The big one has to do with death and taxes. Others benefits are related to debts, divorce, family leave, health, housing, immigration, inheritance, insurance, parenting, portability of marriage to other states,   privilege (meaning legal privilege), property, and retirement.  And though they CAN address some of these with legal documents; most of these critical, concrete legal incidents of marriage cannot be arranged by shelling out money for an attorney or writing up private agreements – even with lots of forethought. 

Of course some argue that you could get those same things with something less than marriage -- Perhaps legalizing civil unions or domestic partnerships like some states have.  And that’s a step.  But it’s the back of the bus, and we should not settle for that. 

Just ask Janice Langbehn, who had a wonderful domestic partnership in Washington State with her partner of 18 years, Lisa Pond.  In addition to caring for 22 foster children, they had adopted three children and Lisa was a stay at home mom. 

Lisa died after a stroke while they were on a family vacation in Florida – and she died alone in that hospital while Janice and her children grieved in an small waiting room – not allowed in, because they were not really considered family.  Janice and Lisa had all the paperwork --- But it comes down to more than legalities. 

When LGBTQ people are not allowed to claim MARRIAGE – and all that folks know go with that, then this can happen.  Separate but equal – is never equal!

Now while I and others here will fight for the right for marriage equality – at the same time, we need to be supportive of all kinds of families.  Single folks as well as married folks -- regardless of sexual or affectional orientation, gender identity, or whether or not they have children.  We all just want equal choices – including the ability for two folks who love each other to get married.

Why is this such a difficult battle?  Are people just that prejudiced?  Well, we are products of our society and sometimes it’s hard to get over some of the things we were taught.  Sadly, much of the negative teachings we’ve had came from religious teachings. The Bible has been used through the ages to deny people rights.  Many of us have felt that lash of the Bible Belt – for lots of different reasons -- and sadly it continues to be used. 

I am very proud of the stands that Unitarian Universalists have taken and that we have a long history -- since 1970 -- of calling for the full inclusion of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Questioning people in church and society.  Our Standing on the Side of Love Video that we played before the sermon shared some of this – so I won’t recount all that we’ve done.  But we have much work still to do.

Now it is going to TAKE a Supreme Court ruling for us to have marriage equality in Georgia.  But there are things we can do in the meantime – even here in Georgia.

•      Continue support of extending privileges to domestic partners.

•      Come out – in our relationships, with our identity, as an ally and advocate!

•      Work for and vote for progressive candidates supportive of marriage equality

•      Give money and time to those working for this goal.

•      Express views via blogs, social media, editorials, letters, wearing ribbons, etc.  

When I was a little girl of about 8 or 9 in the late 50's, I used to have some unusual dreams. In one of my dreams, I saw people driving their house trailers instead of pulling them behind their cars. When I awoke, I thought, “That’s really strange.” But it's not strange to me today. We see motor homes all the time now. I also had a dream that I went to someone's home and lots of people were there. Perhaps it was a party. There were lots of grown-ups and children at this party. Some of the women had their husbands with them. But some of the women were married to other women. And some of the men were married to other men. When I awoke, I thought, “That’s really strange.” But it's not strange to me today. 

I have a vision. I envision a world where there will be no need for words like homophobia or even labels categorizing one's sexual orientation. People will love who they love because they love them. And they'll love each other for as long as they possibly can. And since my higher power is the Power of Love; for me - God is Love; God will look at that world and say,

"It is really good!"

A Letter to the Editor

The letter below was recently submitted to my hometown newspaper.

February 6, 2012

Dear Editor:

After I nailed a rainbow flag to the little column on our building’s front entrance, a friend in town asked me, “Aren’t you afraid that people will think that your congregation is a GAY church?”  My response was, “No, I want them to KNOW we are a gay church – and a church for lesbians, bisexuals, transgender, and questioning people – as well as a church for lots of great straight folks who are advocates and allies!”  Indeed, the rainbow flag is a symbol of our new “Welcoming Congregation” status.  Our denomination encourages congregations to go through a long series of workshops and demonstrate competencies in welcoming and affirming lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (LGBTQ) people before providing the congregation with this status.  Although we feel that we’ve been welcoming from the beginning of our existence in the mid-80’s, we are now proud to have this official designation. 

Our Unitarian Universalist denomination has been on record since 1970 in its support of rights of LGBTQ individuals, and voted to support full marriage equality in 1996.  However, many congregations realized the need to prepare themselves further in their efforts to be welcoming and to serve as advocates for the rights of all people, regardless of sexual or affectional orientation.  I am proud that our congregation has now taken those steps.  We will be celebrating our new Welcoming Congregation status in our service at 10:30 on Sunday, February 19 at our building at 609 East Grady Street.

I invite your readers who may identify as LGBTQ or as allies to visit us.  Yes, there is a fully welcoming church community here in Statesboro!  And as a Statesboro native, I am very proud to call this community my home.  Thanks for helping us to spread this good news!

Standing on the Side of Love!

Rev. Jane Altman Page

Minister

Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Statesboro

Moving to the Beloved Community

Rev. Jane Page
Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Statesboro
January 22, 2012

When I was growing up in Statesboro in the 1950’s, we used to visit my granddaddy’s farm.  We would go out there to ride the ponies or pick vegetables from one of the gardens, or pull-up peanuts, or fish in the pond.  Now I don’t want to pretend that I was ever really a farm worker.  My daddy once told someone that the only cotton I had ever picked was out of an aspirin bottle.  And that’s the truth.  But my daddy loved that farm.  And when my granddaddy died in 1962, daddy sold the extra property he owned – like our cabin at Cypress Lake and the little house that he and mom first lived in – and borrowed money – so he could pay his other family members for their shares of that farm and own it for himself.  And he farmed it for a good long while – when it was still possible for one to be successful as a businessman and part-time farmer.  Although he visited the farm often, his goal was to move to the farm and live there.  So he and mama worked really hard and saved their money till they could build their dream house on the farm.  In the last days of his life, his dementia was pretty bad and sometimes he would forget where he was.  Once, he asked my Mama – “I didn’t sell the farm, did I?”  And she said, “Oh No!  You didn’t sell it.  We live here.  We built our house right on the old Turner place.  That’s where we are right now.  We are at home - on the farm?”  And he said, “We are?”  And he just smiled a big smile.   

You know – just like my childhood visits to the farm, we tend to visit “the beloved community” sometimes.  I was so proud last weekend when Rev. Francys Johnson preached at our annual MLK service, that he noticed and commended our congregation as one that dreams King’s dream and Stands on the Side of Love.  And there have been many times recently when I’ve thought to myself – yes, we are in the midst of the “beloved community.”  It’s a wonderful place where our 2nd principle of affirming justice, equity, and compassion in all our human relations seems to shine.  What a wonderful gathering of the beloved community we had here in this place last Sunday morning in the MLK service and afternoon at Marvin’s Memorial Service.  The love in these rooms just lifted us all up.  And as our choir sang “I’ll Fly Away” Sunday afternoon, we did feel like we were flying in the beloved community.

Then during the week, we’ve had opportunities to share and work with folks of different faiths  -- most more conservative than ours – as we celebrated Martin Luther King’s birthday and worked with others to provide a nutritious meal to about a hundred folks in need. 

But like my granddaddy’s (and later my daddy’s) farm, the beloved community tends to be somewhere we visit – but not where we live.  We go there at special times – in a crisis situation – or when a special celebration occurs – but then we go back to our regular homes and draw the curtains.  Our goal should be to make the beloved community our home.  Not that we won’t leave it sometimes – because we are human – but it should be home, the place we come back to and where we work and live and have our being.  Now it may not be that easy.  We may not be able to do it all at once.  But like my hard working mom and dad, we should be working on getting there.

 “‘The Beloved Community’ is a term that was first coined in the early days of the 20th century by the philosopher-theologian Josiah Royce, who founded the Fellowship of Reconciliation. However, it was Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., also a member of the Fellowship of Reconciliation, who popularized the term and invested it with a deeper meaning which has captured the imagination of people of good will all over the world." http://www.thekingcenter.org/king-philosophy#sub4

 According to the King Center Web page:

“For Dr. King, the Beloved Community was not a lofty utopian goal to be confused with the rapturous image of the Peaceable Kingdom, in which lions and lambs coexist in idyllic harmony….

“In the Beloved Community, poverty, hunger and homelessness will not be tolerated because international standards of human decency will not allow it. Racism and all forms of discrimination, bigotry and prejudice will be replaced by an all-inclusive spirit of sisterhood and brotherhood. In the Beloved Community, …love and trust will triumph over fear and hatred. Peace with justice will prevail over war and military conflict.

“Dr. King’s Beloved Community was not devoid of interpersonal, group or international conflict. Instead he recognized that conflict was an inevitable part of human experience. But he believed that conflicts could be resolved peacefully and adversaries could be reconciled through a mutual, determined commitment to nonviolence. No conflict, he believed, need erupt in violence. And all conflicts in The Beloved Community should end with reconciliation of adversaries cooperating together in a spirit of friendship and goodwill.” http://www.thekingcenter.org/king-philosophy#sub4

If you look at or read the news, we seem to be so far from this goal in the world today, that you wonder if we should just throw our hands up in despair.  It seems impossible.  When things in my life seem impossible, I try to remember the serenity prayer.  That is – to be granted the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.  And there ARE things we can do that will help us toward that bigger goal of living in the beloved community.  Our “story for all ages” provides us with a good example.  We can begin with our neighbors.

Jesus said – “love your neighbor as yourself.”  And when asked, “Who is my neighbor?” – told the story that we’ve come to know as “The Good Samaritan.”  Now, I’ve heard this story all my life.  And for much of it, I thought – YES, we need to be good neighbors to the Samaritans – to those who are oppressed and looked down upon.  And, in fact, one reason I was drawn to Unitarian Universalism was because of our work for social justice and civil rights.  But I was missing a major teaching of this story.  The SAMARITAN was the good neighbor because HE reached out to one who was a member of a group that was narrower in their focus.  He reached out and cared for those whose teachings were
oppressive.  And that’s where we Unitarian Universalists seem to have a hard time.

Who is our neighbor?  As the Reverend Rosemary Bray McNatt reminds us:  "Not just the hungry, not just the homeless, not just the prisoner, not just the lonely heart.  (She goes on to say) Our neighbor is the brother – like my own brother – who is a born again Christian.  Our neighbor is the mother, like my own mother – who is a member of an evangelical church.  Who is our neighbor?  Our neighbor is the co-worker who leaves tracts on your desk; our neighbor is the family who won’t let your children play with their children because they are not saved.  Who is our neighbor?  Our neighbor is the protestor who claims that God hates faggots; our neighbor is the evangelist who declares women should be silent in the churches; our neighbor is the neighbor who invites you to prayer meeting and encourages you to leave that place you say is a church but she knows is really a cult.  All these people are our neighbors:  not just the ones we like, or feel good about talking to, or have hopes will one day see the light of liberal faith.  We cannot create the radical change in the world that liberal religion is meant to create if we are only hanging out with one another; we cannot offer a healing alternative to the religiously injured, lying half dead on the road of life, by keeping our faith a private pleasure.  We can create radical change only with radical engagement, only with the radical faith modeled in the ministries of so many faithful prophets and sages and wise people."  (Rosemary Bray McNatt, address to CMwD, 2005)

Now let me quickly add that it’s understandable why many of us have a hard time reaching out to some groups, especially more conservative Christians.  Many of us have been in situations where we personally have been hurt by some of the teachings of these churches.  And the sting of rejection of who we are or what we believe lasts a long time.  I know that. 

However, if we are going to swim with Christian churches in our efforts to make the world a better place, we don’t need to dive in that shallow end of the water and hit our head on the rocks causing us more pain.  We can dive in at a deeper point – or wade in shallow water – and let our love stir it up - and we’ll be okay – especially if we have other UU swimming buddies with us. 

Actually, our congregation HAS been wading and swimming in these waters for some time.  We’ve made some connections with African American ministers and churches through the years in our civil rights efforts.  And in 2007, we joined forces with the First Presbyterian Church of Statesboro to build a Habitat House.  In more recent years, we’ve joined an interfaith / community coalition as a partner in Feeding Statesboro.  Other partners include Trinity Episcopal, First Presbyterian, the Church of the Latter Day Saints, and the Christian Believers Outreach Mission.  And there are community volunteers who represent a variety of faith traditions. We are so pleased that these folks are willing to work openly with us.  Not everyone will do this.  We’ve reached out to some who have basically let us know that they were not comfortable working with us.  And we have thanked them and shared our hopes that our separate efforts will lead to a better world for all. 

Now please know that my encouragement of our efforts to work in these interfaith and community efforts does NOT mean that we refrain from Standing on the Side of Love for our principles, some which may offend others.  We are not trying to offend, though.  We are trying to promote those principles which we believe are important if we are to live together in a beloved community. 

You know, last year we finally completed all of our Welcoming Congregation workshops and had our vote – which was unanimous – to apply to the Unitarian Universalist Association for official welcoming congregation status.  And they have granted us that status which we will be celebrating in a service on February 19.  After we had our vote, I ordered some rainbow flags for us to use in various programs.  One of the AA groups that meets in our building – the one that is intentionally inclusive – was hoping for some kind of symbol, like the rainbow flag, to let others know they had found the right place.  So initially, I thought of putting one of our little flags out on the lawn or somewhere on the day that they met. And what initially went through my mind was that I would take it down on the days the other AA group meets, because the flag and what it symbolizes may offensive to some of them.  But then I thought – “NO Jane, this is one symbol of who we are as a welcoming UU congregation.  And if an AA group meets in a synagogue, they don’t expect them to take down the Star of David.”  So I nailed that flag up to the post on the front door, and there it has remained. 

Now, some may ask – “but aren’t you afraid that people will think that our congregation is a GAY church?”  And my response to that would be…  Hey – we WANT them to know we are a GAY church, and a Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, and Questioning Church – and one with lots of good straight folks who serve as advocates and allies.  And yes, we are a Pagan church – and a Buddhist, Christian, Mystic, Humanist Church.  We’re even the Agnostic church and the Atheist Church.  And hopefully we can become the Church for that growing group of NONES – spelled, N-O-N-E-S, who need a spiritual home.  We lift up that quote from Unitarian martyr Francys David who said, “We need not think alike to love alike.” 

Here’s a joke I found that is funny because it’s so true. 

A visitor to a Unitarian Universalist church sat through the sermon with growing incredulity at the heretical ideas being spouted.  After the sermon a UU asked the visitor, “So how did you like it?” 
I can’t believe half the things that minister said!” sputtered the visitor in outrage.
“Oh good – then you’ll fit right in,”  the UU replied.

Now that doesn’t mean we can believe and do whatever we like as Unitarian Universalists.  We do have principles that include the respect for the inherent worth and dignity of all as well as justice and equity for all, and support for one another in our own spiritual paths.  In short, we support Dr. King’s dream of a beloved community – which in reality was the hope of Ghandi, Jesus, the Buddha, and many other religious leaders.  We support the idea that we must love our neighbors as ourselves – and in this global community, our neighborhood reaches far and wide. 

Who is our neighbor?  It’s the man who needs a pair of shoes as he walks around Statesboro looking for work, as well as the young girl in the Central Asia hoping for an education and a chance for a better life.  It’s the believer and the unbeliever, the conservative and the liberal, the 99% and the 1%.  It’s the Democrat and the Republican; and yes, it’s me and it’s you.”   If we want to not just visit the beloved community, but live there, we need to learn to love all of our neighbors. 

So – right now I’d like for you to think of just one thing, one thing you can do this week to bring you closer to living in the beloved community; one way that you can love your neighbor, and pick something that may be a little challenging for you.  I’m not going to ask you to tell someone else or report back on it. Okay – do you have one in mind?  Now this may sound a little silly for some of you – but just go with me on it.  Now whisper that in the cup of your hands, share “I’m going to…” and whisper it in your hands.  (READERS -- you do this too!)  You have it in your hands?  Now place your hands over your beating heart as a symbol of your commitment.

 
Our children’s affirmation says: "We are Unitarian Universalists:  People of Open Minds, Loving Hearts, and Helping Hands."  We think, we feel, we do.  Now you may say – “But Jane, you had us go from head to hands – then to heart?”   Yes, I did – because sometimes that’s the way it is.  We may not FEEL motivated to do that which we know we should.  But if we know that right thing – and we do it – then sometimes the feeling, the peace, and the joy that comes with loving acts will grow.  But, you don’t have to wait for the feeling.  As Dr. King says, “It’s always the right time to do the right thing.”

You have connected your plan in your mind for loving your neighbor metaphorically now with your hands and your heart.  May that symbolic act and connection go with you from this place as a reminder to do the real thing. 

Oh, may it be so! 

The Art of Happiness: Lessons from the Dalai Lama

(Sermon shared on January 8, 2012 at the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Statesboro by Rev. Jane Page)

Happy New Year!   How often have we heard that in the last couple of weeks!  How often have we wished it for others?  And are we serious?  Do we really expect happiness?  Do we deserve happiness? 

Our forefathers must have thought so!  The Declaration of Independence includes these words:  “All men are created equal and endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights; these rights include life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”

Fortunately – “All men” has expanded through its fullest vision to include “all people.”  Now Jefferson didn’t pen that we had the RIGHT to happiness – just the right to pursue it.  Still, it’s included right up there with life and liberty, so certainly it was deemed important by these founders. 

I’m afraid our forefathers would not have liked this map. 
This is a map showing where countries stand on the Happy Planet Index.  “Each country’s HPI value is a function of its average subjective life satisfaction, life expectancy at birth, and ecological footprint per capita. The exact function is a little more complex, but conceptually it approximates multiplying life satisfaction and life expectancy, and dividing that by the ecological footprint.” The light bright green ones are the countries at the top.  The brown ones are at the bottom. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Happy_Planet_Index)

Now you may be thinking – well, the USA is so low because we use so many of the world’s resources – and that is factored in; and that certainly does make a difference.  But even if you just look at the life satisfaction surveys, we are at the VERY bottom.  How can this be?  And does it matter?

Is “being happy” important to us today in our complex world? Can we be happy? Should we strive to be happy?

His Holiness the Dalia Lama, exiled spiritual leader of Tibet, believes so – and shares his ideas with psychiatrist Howard C. Cutler, who incorporates them with some of his own perceptions in their book, The Art of Happiness:  A Handbook for Living. 

This book was recommended to me by Steven Rowe when I asked folks to share some “contemporary sacred texts” for me to use in my sermons.  Well, actually Steven recommended a whole slew of books – but this is the one that I chose.  I read the 10th Anniversary Edition published in 2009 – but it’s the same book as the original, with a different preface and introduction.  It took me a while to get through it – because I kept putting it down to read other things – then picking it back up.  Perhaps I needed time to digest it – or perhaps I wanted to really pursue happiness instead of reading about it.  But I did, indeed, find it helpful.  It was a good reminder to me of many things that I’ve perhaps learned through books like this – or more likely – through experience, through listening to others, and through thoughtful contemplation.  Now I’m not saying that I’ve already strongly developed “The Art of Happiness” – but I’m certainly a believer in many of these principles and do try to practice them.  I do not really identify as a Buddhist though.   I do not have the gift of faith in things like reincarnation or the gift of maintaining the spiritual practices that most would require to truly be able to claim that identity.  However, this book is not just for Buddhists – and in fact, the Dalai Lama says he does not believe that we should all be Buddhists.  This book has some gems for all of us – regardless of our theology or cosmology.  I only have a small amount of time – so I’m just going to share a few of those gems with you today.

Before I do though – I want to emphasize that when the Dalai Lama speaks of happiness, he is not talking about immediate pleasure or gratification.  Now there is nothing wrong necessarily with having some pleasure.  But the kind of happiness he is referring to would more likely be thought of by us as “joy” or “contentment” – a happiness that is more long lasting.  So that being said - I’d like to read something to you that the Dalai Lama wrote in the preface of this book – that does a good job of tying in his former encouragement that we work our state of mind – especially on compassion – with the latest research on happiness.  He says:

“Many years ago I wrote:  ‘If you want others to be happy practice compassion, and if you want yourself to be happy practice compassion.’  (Then he goes on to say) "Today, growing scientific data confirm this insight.  Researchers on human happiness identify compassionate service to others as one of the key characteristics shared by many of the world’s happiest people."

Now some of us may question his Holiness on this.  We may say something like:

But this correlation of compassion and happiness doesn’t necessarily show causality.  How do we know which comes first?  Does one become happy by being compassionate – or is it just that compassionate people are happier?

Yes, it’s the old chicken or egg question.

Well, the Dalai Lama responds to that question.  He says that on a practical level, it doesn’t matter.  The important question is:  “Can we cultivate both?”  And his answer is a resounding YES! And of course he and his co-author point out that the science does back that up more and more.

But sometimes we may wonder if it’s selfish to want to be happy. The Dalai Lama resists this idea.  He says that:  “I believe the very purpose of our life is to seek happiness.  That is clear.”
And of course he believes that happiness can be cultivated by training of the mind.

He further states that: “By bringing about a certain inner discipline, we can undergo a transformation of our attitude, our entire outlook and approach to living.” Now you’d have to read the entire book to see lots of the examples of this training, including meditative activities, prayers or reminders, intentional comparisons and acts of compassion, and much more.  But here’s a statement which kind of sums it up:  He says:

“Generally speaking, one begins by identifying those factors which lead to happiness and those factors which lead to suffering.  Having done this, one then sets about gradually eliminating those factors which lead to suffering and cultivating those which lead to happiness.  That is the way.” 

Or as Zen Teacher Geri Larken says:  Plant Seed, Pull Weed.

BUT WAIT – I Say – and you may say too!
Much suffering can’t just be eliminated --- “Stuff happens” – Isn’t that the first noble truth of Buddhism?

Oh yes, he spends a good bit of time discussing how we may deal with that kind of suffering – actually looking at it – feeling it – not denying it. But the Dalai Lama contends – and I agree – that many of us add to that suffering by nurturing feelings of bitterness, hatred, and anger, long after the pain should have subsided.  He has a whole chapter on self-created suffering; and others on eliminating anger and hatred and dealing with anxiety.  And that is the kind of suffering we CAN avoid if we train our minds to do so. 

Of course the Dalia Lama has had a lifetime of training – but he says it’s never too late.
Hallelujah!

One of the chapters that was especially meaningful to me was Chapter 10 on “Shifting Perspective.”   The Dalai Lama uses his own life as an example of the power of shifting perspective.  He says: “For example, in my own case, I lost my country.  From that viewpoint, is very tragic – and there are even worse things.  There’s a lot of destruction happening in our country.  That’s a very negative thing.  But if I look at the same event from another angle, I realize that as a refugee, I have another perspective.  As a refugee there is no need for formalities, ceremony, protocol.  If everything were status quo, if things were okay, then on a lot of occasions you merely go through the motions; you pretend.  But when you are passing through desperate situations, there’s no time to pretend.  So from that angle, this tragic experience has been very useful to me.  Also, being a refugee creates a lot of new opportunities for meeting with many people.  People from different religious traditions, from different walks of life, those who I may not have met had I remained in my country.  So in that sense it’s been very, very, useful.” 

He spends the rest of the chapter giving some insight into how we can work on even taking on the perspective of our enemies.  We can even remind ourselves that a harmful act from someone else give us an opportunity to practice patience and tolerance.  Now that does not mean that we do not stand up for what we feel is right.  But then how far do we take this – and what is the eventual result? 

Reading this book has caused me to question many things that I may say or do.  Is my action going to lead to my own long term happiness and the happiness of others?  Or is it just going to give me some gratification about getting even or something.  I am also trying to understand WHY someone may be saying something hurtful to me or someone else and attempt to understand their perspective and communicate with them from that shift in perspective.  

I’m not ready to necessarily “turn the other cheek” all the time – but I can see Jesus’ point.  Jesus was actually a pretty good Buddhist. 

Now -- another helpful exercise was the idea of thinking of good wishes for yourself, for your friends and those who may be more like enemies.  Can you wish them good things?  The authors of the book provide some ideas for cultivating the ability to do that with all folks – but for today, perhaps we can just start with ourselves and those of us here.

On Wednesday evening, I sent our listserv an email asking you to share words or phrases that you could share as wishes for other members and friends of UUFS for 2012.  Do you all have an envelope?  You can open it now and see what someone has wished for you for 2012.  

Hold it in your hand and in your heart. 

But we are not going to just keep these – we are going to pass on that happiness with a little ritual of sharing to close out my message time. 

Guided Ritual of Sharing Wishes
We’re going to sing “From you I receive to you I give – together we share, and from this we live.”  And I invite you to rise in body or spirit and share that paper with that wish as we sing with someone near you – so find a partner.  We’ll do this three times. 

NOTE:  For those READING this sermon, I'm sharing THREE of the wishes of our members and friends for you for 2012:

1. To be present for your own life.
2. Restful nights
3. Simple pleasures.

Oh, may we all be so blessed.
And yes, let’s have a Happy New Year.

Wait Wait.... Don't Tell Me!

Dec. 11 sermon  at the UU Fellowship of Statesboro

Our reading this morning was one in which Emily Jane Bronte reminds us to cherish the present while placing hope in the great depths of eternal goodness for the future.  And she title’s that poem, “Anticipation.”  Another more contemporary sacred text by that same name and with a similar message is Carly Simon’s song – Anticipation. 

I ask that you participate with me in this message by singing back that word after I sing the first one to you.  So our little call and response will go like this!  I’ll sing:

Anticipation
And you sing:
Anticipation 


The story goes that Carly Simon wrote that song while waiting for Cat Stevens to pick her up one day.  At least she was making some good profitable use of her time.  But her song was also initially expressing some of the frustration we feel when we have to wait.  For the chorus of that song goes like this:
Me – Anticipation
Congregation – Anticipation
(Me or all) Is making me late --- is keeping me waiting.

This is the time of year where we often find ourselves waiting.  And that can be frustrating. 

On Monday, I found myself at Hobby Lobby.  Now I don’t shop there often – because I’m not a crafty person – well not that kind of crafty anyway.  But that’s the only store in town that seemed to have these little paper lanterns that had the little tiny lights in them run by batteries.  And I needed more of these to hang on the branches of the path back to the labyrinth in the woods since Georgia Southern’s Gay Straight Alliance kids were coming over that night – and I knew they’d need some light shed on that path. 

I picked up the plastic box with the lanterns and headed to the checkout.  And here is what the conversation that went on in my head:
(Note to Reader:)  Here I get pick up the plastic box of lanterns and go to the back of the imaginary line that beings in front of the altar and heads toward the congregation.)


Oh – my, the lines are backed up. 
Jane are you going to stand in one of these long lines.  You are a busy woman. 

Nah, you are no busier than these other folks and you need these lights.  Get your butt in line like everybody else.

Hmmm.  I wonder why they only have four registers open.  Don’t they know there are people out of work that need these jobs.

That line over there is moving – and mine is not.  Should I change lines?

Jane, you know that doesn’t work.  Stay put.

I don’t think that young man at the register knows what he’s doing.  He must be new or a temp or something. 

Well, why don’t you make use of this time while you are waiting here.  Carly Simon wrote a song while she was waiting for Cat Stevens.  And that author of that book you were reading about Advent said he found Jesus while standing in the line at Cosco.

(looking around – sings)  Jesus, Jesus, Jesus……   No, not here today. 
Oh, you could take out your phone and check your email.

NO, NO, NO…. you don’t need to be one of those people.  Make conversation with the nice lady in front of you.

“A’hem.  That’s a beautiful top you have on.”  “Yes, this is a long line – oh, you’re moving to another line?”…..
Don’t leave me.

Oh, the line has moved, ha – she shouldn’t have moved.  I was right to stay here.  Only one person in front of me. 

Oh no – the cashier has to call for a price.   Waiting,  Waiting….Why doesn’t he do something.  Someone needs to say something to him.  I don’t think I like him very much.  He doesn’t seem to care that I’m a very busy woman.  Oh, the other cashier is having to call for him.  He’s a pitiful cashier – doesn’t seem to know a thing. 

But he reminds me of my son.  John is a cashier at a busy Whole Foods store in Atlanta.  I bet he has a long line of busy people waiting on him right now.
 
Oh – my turn.

Oh, no bag please, I can carry this.  I hope you have a wonderful day!
(Returning to pulpit)
Anticipation
Anticipation

Sometimes to help us focus on the positive and let us know we are making progress toward some special anticipated event, we use countdown calendars.  And Christians have devised a countdown to Christmas known as Advent.  Now if you were raised in what some of us call a Christian “high church,” you are familiar with the Christian liturgical year that begins with Advent.  Advent means “coming” and of course refers to the coming of Jesus – both as a newborn babe – and for some, waiting indeed, for the 2nd coming.  Advent starts on the fourth Sunday before Christmas – so today is the 3rd Sunday of Advent.

At the beginning of the service, we lit the third candle of our Advent Wreath – and I’d like to share a little about that for those of you who may not be familiar with it’s history. 

(From:  http://linda-ashar.suite101.com/pagan-origin-use-of-the-advent-wreath-a170540)

The circular Advent Wreath and its candles are pre-Christian, a Pagan practice absorbed into Christian observances like many Pagan rites as Christian conversion spread across Europe.

The centerpiece of their spiritual rituals at this time was the living wreath, either formed of evergreens or with a cartwheel woven with evergreens. The evergreen wreath or wheel symbolized the unending circle of life, the rotation of the seasons. The evergreen, of course, was a part of the earth that lived steadfastly through the winter darkness. Lighted candles set within the wreath or wheel brought light to the darkness.

The magic of the Advent Wreath translated well into Christian practice. With very little change the symbol of light in the darkness, rebirth of the sun, made equal sense to the birth of the Son of God bringing the light to the world. The Christian Advent Wreath initially became popular in Lutheran homes in Germany, then spread to other Christian denominations.  There are different traditions with different colors of candles – but usually three of the candles are purple and the candle for the third Advent Sunday  -- the joy candle -- is pink or rose.  Although the advent wreath began as a Lutheran ritual – the use of the pink candle has Catholic origins.  On the third Sunday of LENT – (which also lifts up Joy), the pope used to give a pink rose to one citizen.  So pink became a symbol for Joy.  There were seven candles lit during lent, and when the Catholic church began celebrating Advent by lighting candles – they used the first four from lent – with the third – again – representing joy.  The others are purple – the color of royalty, of course, symbolizing for them the kingship of Christ.  Now regardless of your own theology – we UUs like purple and pink – so these are just fine with us!

Our advent candle also has the white candle in the middle.  This is the Christmas or Christ candle – and we will light that one on Christmas Eve. 

This is an advent wreath – but some families have advent calendars with candy to eat on each day.  Our wreath has fewer calories though.

Anticipation
Anticipation

I entitled this sermon “Wait Wait…. Don’t Tell Me” – just on a whim, when I wasn’t quite sure what I would be preaching this Sunday, but it certainly fits with the “anticipation of Christmas” theme.  The title, of course, comes from the popular PBS game show – but it also represents our joy in anticipating the unknown.  That wrapped present that says “Don’t Open till Christmas.”  Most of us like things out in the open – but there’s something intriguing about keeping some surprises under wrap.  The negligee industry has profited greatly from that! 

And even we Unitarian Univerasalists – some of us known for our “cold rationalism” – are intrigued and awed by mystery.  We can even be turned on by “anticipation.”  But what are we waiting for?  A UU minister colleague of mine has a blog – in which he points us to another blog about Advent where Christians posted their own ideas and revelations back during Advent in 2009.  And there is one posting by a woman named Bridgett – that’s the only name I can attribute to this quote, but I do want to give Bridgett credit.  She begins by providing a quote attributed to Jesus in the gospel of Luke.  “Blessed are the eyes that see what you see.  For I say to you, many prophets and kings desired to see what you see, but did not see it, and to hear what you hear, but did not hear it.”  Then Bridget goes on to point out that just as Jesus was born in a specific time and place – so were we.  And Bridget goes on to post – at 7:45 a.m. on Tuesday, Dec. 2, 2009:

“A specific time, a specific place. We were not chosen to be those who walked with Jesus in Palestine. We were chosen to be here. And what am I blessed to see and hear? What will prophets and kings desire to have seen and heard from what I have experienced? Is there anything in my life wondrous, noteworthy, mysterious? Living in the blank page, our response time to the coming of Jesus, all I can think is "there had better be." There had better be something worthy left behind when I am gone. And I had better get to it.”

Anticipation
Anticipation

So, here we are… on December 11, 2011.  Here we are together at the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Statesboro.  Here we are…..  waiting…..
(silence)

For what?
For some politician to provide a master plan?
For some great prophet, guru, or philosopher to show us the way?
For some future with greater beings and thinkers than we?
I think not.

It was the poet June Jordan who wrote:  “We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.” 
Of course, this line was later borrowed by Alice Walker and used frequently by Barak Obama.  But it’s a good line, I think, for Unitarian Universalists – regardless of our theologies. 

“We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.”  And now is the time we’ve been waiting for.

Anticipation can be frustrating.  There are those who have really good reasons to be anxious for the future, and we understand that.  And anticipation can be really good too.  So we will enjoy our Advent wreath and the joyful anticipation of the holidays, and even the good works that we will do for others.  But right here, right now is the present that is our most precious present!

Savor the present.

After recording in her poem her wonderful observations of a grasshopper, Mary Oliver writes:

I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
With your one wild and precious life?

We have many things going on in our wild and precious lives in these December days, don't we?   But right here, right now, we are with loving people in a place that lifts up justice, service, connection, hope, love, joy, and peace!  
Breathe it in.

Carly Simon ends her song about anticipation with this reminder:  "THESE are the good old days!"

Sing it with me.

These are the good ole days… These are the good ole days… These are the good ole days!
Amen – and Blessed Be!

A Christmas Present!

MINISTERIAL MUUSINGS!
December 8, 2011

The 1973 Christmas season was an exciting time in our household, for Fred III was learning to walk and talk. Since he was saying some words, I and others would naturally ask him what he wanted for Christmas - or what he wanted Santa Claus to bring him. And he would reply with some gibberish. As I listened more closely, I realized that it was the same gibberish each time we asked him. That meant that he definitely had something in mind. What was it that my dear little boy wanted? I could not figure it out. I asked others to listen and they could not understand either - though he said the same word or phrase each time.

When I was in the toy sections of the stores we were in, I would ask him again what he wanted - and even asked him to point to it. He looked around but did not point to anything. Needless to say, I felt my precious child was going to be very disappointed on Christmas morning when his anticipated gift was not there.

One day, while looking at a magazine, he started saying the jibberish word over and over again. I ran to see what it was. He was pointing to a box all wrapped up as a gift --- and saying "Preprin...Preprin..." ---

"Oh, a present," I said. "You want a present for Christmas." And he smiled and clapped for me finally getting it right! There was no special toy or piece of clothing that he wanted. He just wanted the joy of having a present and unwrapping it to see his surprise!

As we continue in this season of anticipation, may we also delight in the pleasure of the unknown!

Peace, Love, and Joy!

Lessons from THE TAO OF WILLIE NELSON

An “interview of Willie” (as portrayed by Jane) by Rev. Jane Page
November 13, 2011

This book, The Tao of Willie Nelson, was suggested to me by Rodney and Lauren Fowler. Now Rodney and Lauren shared with me that they are big Willie Nelson fans. In fact, Willie gave Lauren a signed Bandera when they connected at one of his concerts. Willie says in his book that he always makes a special connection with one person in the audience and then that connection just spreads. And it seems Lauren was the lucky lady that night. So, perhaps that’s why this book meant so much to them. But it has gems for those who are not Willie fans as well --- if there are such people. ‘Cause most everyone I know likes Willie Nelson. Even if they aren’t fans of his music, many Unitarian Universalists are fans of his ideas. But we’ll let Willie speak for himself on some of these.

For I have decided that this best way to share about Willie’s ideas in this book is for me to interview him about them. I tried to get him to come, but he does have a busy schedule. He was playing in Texas last night at the Grand Opening of a new music hall. Don’t worry though, Willie assured me that he’ll be on the road again headed this way in February. In fact, Rodney, … if you haven’t already bought tickets yet you better do so soon – because on Valentine’s Day, Willie will be performing at the Johnny Mercer Theater in Savannah.

Since he couldn’t be with us in person today, I’ll provide the voice for his responses to my questions. But for sure – when I put on this cowboy hat with the red braids – you’ll know that these are mostly Willie’s words – not mine. (Note: The words in parentheses are mine – usually transition phrases or summaries of Willie’s own words. Other words of Willie’s are excerpted from The Tao of Willie Nelson.)

Jane:
Willie, welcome to our service. Now, what I’d like to know from you is what made you think you could write a book that someone would suggest to me as a sacred text.

Willie:
(Thanks Jane, it’s good to be with you folks. I’ll tell you), the ways my life has changed seem pretty amazing to me. By hook or by crook, I seem to have stumbled onto something all of us search for in this great mystery of life. Some would call it happiness, but I like to think that what I found is me. That sounds simple enough, but the truth is, it took quite a while to do it. Among other things, it took me learning that I had to quit trying to be someone else. Trying to be someone else is the hardest road there is.

Jane:
So Willie, would you call the Tao your religion?

Willie:
(Nah), The, Tao is NOT a religion. It has no gods, and could be as helpful to a Christian or a Jew as to a druid who worships trees, a narcissist who worships himself, or a record executive who worships money. Once you know what the Tao is not, then everything else is the Tao. The Tao is the biggest thing there is….. It is the link between you and the natural world, the link between you and the universe. The Tao is the link between you and yourself.

When Shakespeare wrote, “To thine own self be true,” he was dipping into the Tao…or into some really good snuff.

Jane:
So Willie – where did you get this knowledge to get to where you are now – knowing yourself and all?

Willie:
(I started learning my lessons in Abbot Texas, where I was born in 1933. My sister Bobbie and I were raised by our grandparents.) Times were hard in Abbott and most other places during the Depression. We never had enough money, and Bobbie and I started working at an early age to help the family get by. That hard work included picking cotton at age seven in the rows beside Mama Nelson. Picking cotton is hard and painful work, and the most lasting lesson I learned in the fields was that I didn’t want to spend my life picking cotton.

In Abbott, Texas, you had to learn fast or pay the consequences. Luckily that learning curve also included some patient teaching. Early on, I was taught a number of things that have served me well.

The starting point was to respect your elders. Now that I’m an elderly fart myself, it’s no wonder I like this one.

(And I learned not to be afraid to ask questions.)

In church I was told that if I so much as smoked a cigarette or tasted alcohol, I’d be damned in hell for all eternity. Even when I was a young boy, it didn’t take long for me to start thinking that sounded all wrong.

Yeah, Even as a boy, I didn’t cotton to the idea that your religion should be flaunted to other people. Your religion is for you, and is best kept close to your heart.

(Now, though I questioned a lot of it, I’ve kept a lot of my church upbringing with me.) Sister Bobbie and I still play songs from the church in Abbott at every concert, and every few years we record a new gospel album. It’s part of who we are, some of the best part.

Jane:
Well, I know you said you picked cotton when you were a boy Willie. And I can appreciate how hard that is from listening to my daddy describe it. Of course, the only cotton I ever picked was out of an aspirin bottle. But somehow – you also found the time to learn how to pick guitar and sing. Did your community provide the right kind of culture for you to easily learn these skills?

Willie:
There were two kinds of culture in Abbott when I was a boy—one was agriculture and the other was yogurt. Luckily, Sister Bobbie and I were born into a world of music. After I got my first guitar at age six—a Stella that came from the Sears & Roebuck catalog—I’d sit on the end of the (piano) bench and play along with Bobbie.

When we were five or six years old, our grandparents put Sister and me on stage and said, “Our kids do things. Now start doing.” We’ve been doing ever since.

I was in the sixth grade when I got my first paying music gig, strumming guitar in the John Raycheck Band in Bohemian dance halls. Mama Nelson was dead set against me working in sinful nightclubs until she found out I could make eight or ten dollars a night. You had to pick a lot of cotton to make eight dollars.

Jane:
Well, all of us have certainly benefited from you’re your musical knowledge and skills Willie. But since we are here in a church – I’d like to come back a moment to your religion. Can you share a little more about that with the folks here?

Willie:
(Jane) Some people like to make a big deal about their particular religion. If your religion is an important part of your life, then I am happy for you without any regard for which religion it is. As far as different religions are concerned, to me they’re just different paths leading to the same place.

The Golden Rule is the main thing I live by, and every religion I’ve read about or studied—both East and West—has the Golden Rule as a common thread running through it.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

(And I guess I carry with me a little of the religion of my Cherokee ancestors.)
(You know) With belief in gods above and below the earth, in the waters and across the land, the Cherokee seemed to share much with the way of the Tao, which also sees God in all of creation.

(Of course, you all know about the Trail of Tears. Thousands of Cherokee) men, women, and children died of starvation, exposure, and disease along the way.

Knowing that my ancestors got a raw deal, I’ve long believed in supporting American Indian causes. In 1987, I was named Indian of the Year…and spent all night playing music and dancing with fifteen thousand Indians. That experience made it clear to me just how powerfully musical Indians are, and what a large influence my Indian blood has been on my music.

One of my favorite Cherokee stories speaks as well to us today as it did to them hundreds of years ago. (Now listen to this.) They believed that within each person was a battle between two wolves. Sitting with his grandson, a grandfather explained that one of the wolves was evil and was driven by anger, envy, regret, ego, and the worship of war. The other wolf was good, and was driven by love, hope, compassion, and the promise of peace. Thinking about the wolves already growing within him, the boy asked, “Grandfather, which wolf wins?” And the old man replied, “The one you feed.”

Jane:
Well Willie, you and I and all these folks out here have probably spent time feeding both of those wolves. And we’ve had our ups and downs. But since you are a celebrity, yours are very public and have probably been very stressful. What do you do to keep yourself healthy with all the stresses of life?

Willie:
…(takes deep breath, then says) BREATHE
People tell me they’re surprised that I don’t run out of breath at my concerts, even when I sing for a couple of hours straight… I don’t explain it to them, but I will to you. The secret is breathing. When I was very young and just learning music, my grandmother taught me that voice control depended on breathing from way down deep. Everyone knows that filling your lungs with oxygen is good, but not many people choose to do it.

(And you’ve got to drink lots of water!)
My number one roadie, Poodie, says, “You can’t make a turd without grease.” I like the line, but the truth is, what your turds need is water. (And it helps get rid of the toxins, too.) For most of us in America, clean water is easy to come by. All you have to do to is make the choice to get it to your mouth. (Pee) more. You’ll live longer.

(And then, of course, I’ve learned how to meditate) If you’ve never tried meditation, no worries, because it’s really about not trying. It’s about just being

(Another thing I do is to practice both patience.) I was pretty good at making money during the sixties, and even better at spending it. I recorded a lot of albums (back then, but) none of them made me a big Nashville star. I was also not much of a pig farmer. The pigs had a great time, but I didn’t make any money at all… (However), I learned some invaluable lessons in Nashville that apply to both farming and show business.

Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you. Keep skunks of all kinds at a distance. And I learned: If you forgive your enemies, it messes up their heads.

Life is not about how fast you run or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.

Jane:
Well, Willie – you’ve had to bounce back pretty far some times. Would you mind sharing a little with us about your troubles with the IRS and how you managed to bounce back from that?

Willie: (laughs)
On first glance, you might conclude that I may not be good with money. But if you look closer, you’ll realize that I’m definitely not good with money.

I had a rough beginning, (but by the end of the 80’s), I owned a golf course, a recording studio, and an assortment of houses and ranches, and I didn’t ever have to worry about where the next dollar was going to come from. Then one day I answered the phone and discovered that I owed the IRS sixteen million dollars. Shortly after that, the debt magically became thirty-two million,..which might have been more than I’d made in my whole life.

This happened not because I was trying to cheat our government, but because I’d taken the advice of financial advisors who were supposed to be the best in the business. Stupid me. But even though… they took my (possessions and my) money, they couldn’t take my music. So I vowed to tour harder and then started to retire my debt by releasing a double album called The IRS Tapes. It’s a winner, by the way. I recommend you buy a copy right away.

I’ve heard people say I was singled out by the government because of my pot smoking or my politics, but the way I see it, there was a legitimate tax owed, it was the Feds’ job to pursue it, and my job to pay it off. There were a lot of numbers being tossed around in the press, but by the time the IRS had decided what I really owed, I’d paid much of it off.

And if I’d never been able to pay it off, I’d still be the same person I am today. I’d still love my family, I’d still have a lot of friends, and I’d still have my music.


Jane:
SO Willie, since you’ve brought up your use of POT in discussing that episode – perhaps you could share a little of your wisdom on that subject with the folks here today. Here’s your chance to make your case.

Willie:
(Well, thank you Jane – I’ll try to make my case.) One place to start is in a typical American medicine or liquor cabinet. The highest killer on the planet is stress, and there aren’t many people in America who don’t medicate themselves one way or another. Some people choose an occasional beer or a little pill the doctor prescribes, and I’m not knocking that. But the best medicine for stress is pot. I think people forget that in all the ..debate over marijuana, we’re only talking about stems and seeds… As far as I can tell, the primary reasons and uses for the hemp plant are to smoke it, wear it, or use it to make fuel to burn in our cars. And I’m in favor of all three. (Now), no matter what I choose to do, I’m not trying to get anyone else to do anything he considers immoral or the law considers illegal…. On the other hand, it seems pretty stupid to put people in jail because they have a small quantity of a plant that grows wild in large portions of the United States….

I don’t know why pot agrees with me when alcohol and a lot of prescription drugs do not, but I suspect it has something to do with my Cherokee heritage. Among their many talents, the Cherokee were known and celebrated for carving ornate pipes. And I don’t think they were carving those pipes just to look at.

(Now folks) --If this conversation has stressed you out, I’d recommend a solution, but it might get me in trouble.

Jane:
Well Willie, I think we better change the subject before I get in trouble. I think a little safer subject for us is your encouragement of sustainable energy. I saw a documentary last week on television in which you were sharing about your activism in this area, specifically as it related to biodiesel. What is that and what are you hoping for?

Willie:
You may have never heard of biodiesel fuels, but I believe strongly that biodiesel is something that can benefit all of us in a great number of ways. Biofuels are motor fuels that are made from farm products. They can be made from crops grown specifically to make fuel, from crop by-products, or just from recycled products such as used French fry oil. The world fries a lot of potatoes and all that recycled vegetable oil can be put to use to power millions of vehicles. (And), biofuels can start us back on the overdue road to energy independence.

There is really no need going around starting wars over oil when we have what we need right here at home. And no, we don’t have to start eating French fries three meals a day, because farmers can grow crops that are planted and harvested just to fuel our cars.

Choose to do the right thing in your life, and you’re choosing to empower yourself and the country you love. It seems so simple.

Jane:
Willie, you’re 78 years old now, living the good life at your homes in Hawaii and Texas – and your home, of course, on the road in your bus, the Honeysuckle Rose. But you have to also be giving some thought to the end of your life. Care to share some thoughts on that?

Willie:
If you’re thinking that I’m old enough to be offering any final words, you should forget about that right now. I’m still learning, and hope to be doing so for a good while yet…. Besides, I don’t have anything I feel I need to get off my chest. No confessions. No last-minute pleas for forgiveness.

(Now when my life is over, I think I,ll probably be coming back again and trying to get it right again. But whether you believe in something like reincarnation or not, here's something to think about.) In the music business and in just about every other facet of life, what you leave (when you die) is who you are. And that’s a thought that at some point in your life deserves a fair amount of your attention.

When I leave, I will be a lot of fine music – at least I know it was fine having the opportunity to make it. I will also be a father, grandfather, great-grandfather; a husband, a friend, and a person who cared about other people and the beautiful world I was born into.

In time, though, my music will fade away to a soft, distant song, and then it will be no more. Ultimately, all of our achievements will fade away, which is why the point of our lives is not just to become famous or even to produce lasting work. Really, when you get down to it, aren’t we all just doing the best we can?

At this moment, my best is going toward (sharing with you folks.). It’s a nice coincidence that this moment of mine is coinciding with a moment in your life when you (hear) them. Here we are – connected …by the thoughts we share.

(Yeah), each of us is just doing our damnedest to finally get it right. They say the end of one road is just the beginning of another. Does that deserve a hallelujah or an amen?

(And with that – I think I better go get) on the road again.

Jane:
Thank you Willie! Maybe we’ll see you in Savannah on Valentine’s Day! Let me give you a hug before you go!