If Nothing's Wrong, then Nothing's Right

 

It’s been more than 40 years ago now – December 21, 1985. 
Tracy Ham had thrown that touchdown pass

into the hands of Frankie Johnson

as the final seconds ticked off the clock,

and the Georgia Southern Eagles had won their first National Championship, in Tacoma Washington.

My family had traveled with the Eagles on the chartered plane

and now we were headed back to Statesboro with them.

Our noises of happy celebration were mixed

with the growling stomachs of the ball players

who had not eaten since breakfast many, many hours before.

And for some reason, the flight attendants served them alcoholic drinks –

but not food, till after they had served

those of us who were boosters riding with them. That was a mistake.

The players got a little rowdy and a couple of them

started harassing one of the female flight attendants. 

 

Legendary Coach Erk Russell was sitting on the front row

and heard some of the commotion.

He got up, walked to the mid-section of the plane

where the boys were acting out, and all got quiet.

He looked at the young men, pointed to them, and said two words:

(click) “Do Right!” Then he turned around and went to his seat.

No yelling and screaming at them, no lecture on how to treat women,

no discussion on the etiquette of behavior on planes,….

Just those two words: “Do Right.”
And they did.
It was Erk’s belief that by the time they got to college,

these kids KNEW right from wrong,

so, they just needed this ONE rule – do right.

Now I greatly admired Coach Russell.

I still remember many of his sayings and teachings.

But in the case of these young adults – or even old adults like some of us,

it’s not that simple, is it?

In the song I’m using for my sermon themes this year,

Ric Masten says:

“If nothing’s wrong, then nothing’s right.”

 I’m not quite sure what Ric meant by that – and alas,

 he’s no longer with us, so I can’t ask him.

I’ll assume that since most of the phrases in this song

are lifting up opposing aspects of life as meaningful,

perhaps he is doing that with wrong and right.

As if, if we never do anything wrong,

we won’t know that we are doing anything right.

I can go with that… mistakes are important learning tools.

But there is a difference in getting something wrong – by mistake –

and doing wrong intentionally.

And is that a wrong we lift up as well – just for contrast?
Then there is the even bigger problem of the ambiguity of the world,

 in terms of right and wrong.

How do we struggle with morality in today’s complex world?

Ric’s song tells us that we should “Let it be a dance,”

and I’m willing to move in all those directions –

sometimes tango, sometimes waltz, and sometimes do the boo-ga-loo.
This wrong/right dance is an age-old dance

that folks have done for many, many, years ----

AND even passed down some of their conclusions about right and wrong

and morality for us to ponder.

In addition to the words during our meditation time by Maya Angelou –

and the short quote and information from Erk Russell,

I’ll share a few more quotes from

famous and infamous people on this matter.
“The time is always right to do what’s right.” Martin Luther King, Jr.
“Success is the sole earthly judge of right and wrong.” Adolf Hitler
“I know only that what is moral is what you feel good after and what is immoral is what you feel bad after.” - Ernest Hemingway
“For there is nothing either good or bad, thinking makes it so.”
William Shakespeare from Hamlet
“Contradictions do not exist. Whenever you think that you are facing a contradiction, check your premises.

You will find that one of them is wrong.”
Ayn Rand
(Use Mae’s Voice) “When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before." Mae West

This morning, I invite us to explore right and wrong through three lenses:

 

 

1.   What science and use of the scientific method tell us about how humans make moral decisions

2.   What this means for humility and responsibility

3.   What guidance can help us live ethically in the 21st century

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So, what does the science tell us about

How Humans Actually Make Moral Decisions

The short answer is – we are still trying to find out.

For a long time, Western culture imagined morality as a rational process.

We picture ourselves weighing pros and cons,

carefully reasoning our way to ethical conclusions.

But science tells a more complicated—and more human—story.

 

You remember learning parts of the brain –

and which part was responsible for what.

So, most of us perhaps thought that making decisions

about right and wrong happens in the prefrontal lobe.

 But it’s more complicated than that.

Neuroscience shows that moral decisions begin in emotion, not logic.

Research using brain imaging reveals that when people confront moral dilemmas, the limbic system—the brain’s emotional center—activates before the prefrontal cortex,

the region associated with reasoning and deliberation.

In other words:

We feel first. We reason second.

And although the reasoning aspect lights up the front part of the brain,

 the feeling aspect is more complex.

I read some of the latest biology on this –

and it’s really too complex for me to share in sermon –

especially since I didn’t quite understand it all. 

But I did gather that –

It’s more like various processes that are happening in the brain

(and elsewhere in the body)

that provide us with that initial gut feeling of what we should do –

not a single part of the brain –

though certainly the limbic system is involved.

That’s what biologists tell us.

Now psychologists using the scientific method

feel it’s okay to lump these into two categories –

since they are not trying to connect it necessarily with parts of the brain.

In 2013, I read this book by Jonathan Haidt

 to use with a sermon I was sharing –

 and my more recent research seems to indicate

that folks are still looking to his ideas to understand morality. 

Haidt describes moral reasoning as a rider on an elephant.

The elephant—our intuitions, emotions, gut reactions—moves first.

The rider—our reasoning—

often explains afterward why we went where we did.

While preparing for the sermon I’m sharing today,

I came across a little video that helped me understand more about this

and how we can perhaps encourage the elephant

to make the right path choices. Because we are going to go where

the elephant goes!

 I’m going to share that with you now.

https://youtu.be/X9KP8uiGZTs?si=QGyoEkW5tLH4gQrn

This is why I try to include stories, poetry, or music in my services and sermons – because if we don’t feel it, we are not likely to change.

 

When we can feel another’s suffering,

we are more likely to act compassionately.

But science also reveals empathy’s limits: We feel more empathy:

• For people who look like us
• For those close to us rather than far away
• For individuals rather than large groups

       

This is why one child’s photo can move the world,

while statistics about thousands may not.

But we can’t just use our feelings to make decisions. 

Our moral instincts evolved in small groups.

They did not evolve for global crises, digital anonymity,

or decisions affecting future generations we will never meet.

Going with your gut is not enough.

And that’s especially true –

 because our sense of right and wrong are shaped by our culture.

What one society sees as morally obvious, another may question.

You know how some foods perfectly acceptable to some cultures seem disgusting to us – yet we have no problems eating something like oysters.

AND - Even within a single culture, moral views change over time.

I asked via an email for folks to share with me some things

they may have thought were right – but now see as wrong or vice versa. 

Since I got no responses,

I’ll share another story regarding my own upbringing –

that I hold some shame about – but it makes the point.

I have shared with all of you that when I was growing up,

 I thought that segregation based on race

was the way it was supposed to be.

And I’ve shared about how I began to question this some in high school.

I’m not sure whether I’ve ever shared this story –

but I think it makes a point about how our culture

affects even our emotions, instincts, and gut reactions.

 

In the summer before the 9^th grade – in 1964, I was very privileged

because my parents took us to New York for the World’s Fair.

Did any of you go? It was fascinating and HOT. 

Well, on one of the days we were there,

we got on the subway and rode out to Coney Island.

My brother and I even got to ride that bad roller coaster.

But that is not what turned my stomach that day.

I remember looking out on the beach –

and among the sunbathers was a black man with a white woman.

I had never seen an interracial couple in my life.

And I was still at the point that I thought that

even school integration was wrong.

Well, when I saw that – I had a gut reaction --

Like you might get if you see a rat running across your bedroom at night.  Repulsive, - my stomach turned. 

The sight literally made me feel sick. 

My instincts, my gut, told me this was wrong.

 I’m rather ashamed to tell you this.

But I share it as an example of how our culture, our society,

affects our feelings, instincts, and reactions.

And having that example always with me reminds me that –

NO – I cannot necessarily trust my gut, my instincts.

I do need to pause and THINK.

Am I making a judgment about someone based on how they look perhaps,

or how they talk.

I know I had a fellow seminarian that announced in a group

 that she didn’t want to sit next to me because she was afraid

she would fall back into speaking with a southern accent. 

And, though I felt an ouch then - I actually understand her concerns,

because some folks hearing me speak, do indeed,

have some perceptions that are not correct.

They have shared that with me.

 

 Now, I have changed how I feel and think about lots of “so-called”

 morals and ethics through the years.

And I imagine you have as well.

Even we UUs –

 have changed our views on many things through the years,

so, that even we feel compelled from time to time to review our shared principles or values – and yes,

we modified and shifted them to be more inclusive through the years.

This doesn’t mean morality or rules for good behavior are meaningless.

 It means morality is developing, relational,

and responsive to new understanding.

Science teaches us something humbling here:

Our sense of right and wrong feels universal,

but it is partly inherited, partly learned, and always incomplete.

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That brings us to our second lens – Humility.

If moral certainty comes so naturally—and moral error so easily—

then one of the most ethical virtues we can cultivate is humility. 

Humility does not mean moral relativism.

 It does not mean “anything goes.”
Humility means acknowledging that:

• I may be wrong
• My perspective is partial
• Others’ experiences matter

This is deeply aligned with our Unitarian Universalist tradition.

As Unitarian Universalists, we do not claim a final revelation.

 Just as our cousins in UCC state “God is still talking,” we perhaps modify that to “The Truth is still being revealed.” 

We affirm the continuing search for truth and meaning.

And we know we will not always agree,

but we covenant to remain in relationship.

Moral humility allows us to say:

• I hold this value deeply—and I am still listening.
• I am committed to justice—and I am open to learning how my actions affect others.

In a polarized world, humility is not weakness. It is moral courage.

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The final lens is Guiding practices for living in the 21^st century.

Wow, didn’t we think it would be better by now? But it is not.

And the science tells us that though we’ve changed rather quickly –

 our bodies and brains have not caught up with what we are facing.

So, we have to really pay attention – and take action.

I’m going to share 5 guiding practices

that we can take away from what I’ve already shared

and start practicing today.

1. (Read slowly) Slow Down Moral Judgment

Because our brains move quickly to judgment,

 ethical living requires pause.

Before reacting, ask:

• What am I feeling right now?
• What values are being activated?
• What might I be missing?

Slowing down interrupts the automatic response

and invites wisdom to enter.

2. Widen the Circle of Moral Concern

Science shows we care most about those closest to us.

Ethics calls us to stretch beyond that.

This means intentionally considering:

• People we will never meet
• Communities historically excluded
• Future generations
• The more-than-human world

Justice requires imagination.

3. Pair Empathy with Analysis

I have to do this constantly – because I care and I’m a helper. 

But I’ve found that my help sometimes goes too far in some cases

and not enough in others.

Empathy moves us—but systems shape outcomes.

Ethical action today requires both heart and mind:

• Compassion and data
• Stories and structures
• Care and accountability

And concerning those “thoughts and prayers” we send out –

Feeling bad is not the same as doing good.

4. Choose Values Over Certainty

We may not always know the right answer,

but we can choose the values that guide our questions:

When answers are unclear, review your values --

values become our compass.

Our Unitarian Universalist Association – at least for now – emphasizes these values:  Justice, Equity, Transformation, Plurality, Interdependence and Generosity all centered in LOVE. And you may have others that you can name that are important to guide your actions.

5. Practice Moral Repair

We will make mistakes. That is guaranteed.

Ethical living is not about moral perfection. It is about:

• Acknowledging harm
• Making amends – be responsible to one another
• Learning and changing

The ability to repair may be the most important moral skill of all.

 And often we have to do it again and again.

The words the choir used in their welcoming song are based on these words from the Sufi prophet RUMI:

 

 

“Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come.”

And we can do all of this with help from one another.

In the world we have today, I do want justice!

But I need to be careful about judgment.

For you see, morality is not about standing above others in judgment.

It is about standing with one another in responsibility. 

And sometimes, even when we try to do right – it all goes wrong.

Yet we still have LOVE and one another. Hallelujah for that!

As the choir sang in Cohen’s anthem:

(Sing( I did my best, it wasn't much
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
And even though it all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

(sing with us)

Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah – Hallelujah

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